Star Space

A article copy from friend's blog.Found it quite interesting and perhap it is meaningful in some ways.Take a look.

When men pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back.
A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to understand the male intimacy cycle.
This cycle involves getting close, pulling away, and then getting close again.

Most women are surprised to realize that even when a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer.
Men instinctively feels this urge to pull away.It is not a decision or choice.It just happens.
It is neither his fault not her fault.It is a natural cycle.

Women misinterpret a man's pulling away because generally a woman pulls away for different reasons.She pulls back when she doesn't trust him to understand her feelings, when she has been hurt & is afraid of being hurt again, or when he has done something wrong & disappointed her.

A man pulls away to fulfill his need for independence or autonomy.When he has fully stretched away, then instantly he will come springing back.
When he has fully separated, then suddenly he will feel his need for love & intimacy again.Automatically he will be more motivated to give his love & receive the love he needs.

When a man springing back, he picks up the relationship at whatever degree of intimacy it was when he stretched away.He doesn't feel any need for a period of getting reacquainted again.
If a man does not have the opportunity to pull away, he never gets a chance to feel his strong desire to be close.

It is essential for women to understand that if they insist on continuous intimacy or "run after" their intimate male partner when he pulls away, then he will almost always trying to escape & distance himself; he will never get a chance to feel his own passionate longing for love.

Once a man pulls away to his limit, he begins to go through a transformation.
His whole attitude begins to shift.This man who did not seem to care about or be interested in his partner suddenly cannot live without her.He is now feeling again his need for intimacy.His power is back because his desire to love & be loved have been reawakened.

When a man suddenly pulls away, woman may reacts with fear.
She panics & runs after him.She thinks she has done something wrong & has turned him off.She imagines he is expecting her to reestablish intimacy.She is afraid he will never come back.

To make matters worse, she feels powerless to get him back because she doesn't know what she did to turn him off.When she asks him what's the matter, he doesn't have a clear answer, and so he resists talking about it.He just continues to distance her even more.

When a man is pulling away is not the time to talk or try to get closer.Let him pull away.
After some time, he will return.He will appear loving & supportive & will act as though nothing has happened.This is the time to talk.

When a woman wants to talk or feels the need to get close, she should do the talking & not expect man to initiate the conversation.To initiate a conversation,she needs to be the first to begin sharing, even if her partner hes little to say.As she appreciates him for listening, gradually he will have more to say.

What woman don't know about martians is that they need to have a reason to talk.They don't just talk for the sake of sharing.but when a woman talks for a while, a man will start to open up & share how he relates to what she has shared.